negative affect

Positive psychology and the study of happiness, gratitude, “flow,” and “mindfulness” are important because negative affect is such a problem. Dysphoria, anxiety in its many stripes, psychic agitation, body dysmorphia and other obsessions propel people toward escapism, substance abuse and suicide, and bring them into psychotherapy. Negative states seem hard to control, and harder to tolerate. And if we cannot control them or tolerate them well, then we have to put them in perspective. For example, if insidious thoughts leading to negative affect frequently come to mind, we can try to recognize when this is happening, and intervene. If the negative thoughts are irrational, one can question and counter them, a la Albert Ellis. Similarly, Aaron Beck showed the value in restructuring the dysfunctional and erroneous beliefs that we hold. We can think of what we are grateful for, we can savor our moment by moment experience of life, we can develop empathy for those whom we cannot seem to forgive, and “accept the things we cannot change.” We can learn to meditate, and practice relaxation exercises. And our narratives about negative affect itself can be re-written: We become nonchalant “observers” of it in an Eastern sense, we come to recognize it as transient. We ride its waves as they crest and crash upon the beach, as Alan Marlatt and his colleagues in relapse prevention work describe. However, when we feel very low, we have little motivation to utilize trite self-statements and little energy to practice meditation and relaxation. Although becoming an observer of negative states is one of the most feasible approaches, it still leaves the feelings, and many people find the observer concept alien. In another vein, being cared for by an understanding and supportive other person is a wonderful balm. How sad that for many it is difficult to trust enough to allow that, or to be tolerant enough toward others to keep them close. Erich Fromm’s words come to mind; that loving ourselves and others (all others) go hand in hand. (He could easily have been a Buddhist.) I am interested in understanding more about how people are best able to learn to handle negative affect and become confident in their abilities to do so. It is right up there with the question of how people can come to exert control over their own behavior, and may perhaps help answer that.